It's Time for a 'One Fits All' Card

My precious cash card has developed curvature of the spine. This comes from being stored in my wallet which I carry in my back pocket, subjecting the plastic to bending, something the manufacturers never took into consideration. I feed the card nervously into the ATM, hoping to squeeze a few more dollars of my overdraft. The machine emits an audible hiccup and flashes me a message, instructing me to report to the bank.

At the bank I get a brief overview of my non-existent financial status from the manager and a new card. He also tells me how to look after the card. It is impossible.

Last month our health insurance plan caught up with the electronic age and we were issued with plastic cards complete with magnetic strips on the back. My heart sank as I opened the letter and saw what was inside. Another card to carry!

This month it's a new telephone card offering still cheaper calls if I use the card in phone booths which I can never find.

I am carrying cards from frequent flier programs, the nature protection society, the swimming pool and the library. Two offices where I work insist on my carrying security cards. A few weeks ago I took my wallet out of my pocket to ease the pressure on my spine and went to the tea-kitchen to make a cup of coffee. Imagine my embarrassment when I had to call security to let me back into the section where I work. Last but not least are my credit cards.

My wallet is bursting, never having been designed to be the bearer of a thick and growing wad of plastic. One of the seams has split and from time to time I catch a glimpse of a dollar note trying to make its escape via the hole. That's when I carry dollar notes, of course, and that's becoming less and less frequent as the plastic invasion continues to push cash into full retreat.

I can no longer keep the wallet in the back pocket of my pants - it pushes the lower end of my spine out of alignment and will eventually lead to a severe case of "wallectitis". All the cards too, have developed their own scoliosis, a curvature that will eventually cause the card to break in half.

There are cards for everything, these days. Some of the larger stores issue their own cards to favored customers, making them members of what is intended to be an exclusive loyalty club. Many recreation facilities issue cards, some even with a photo of the member, in an attempt at preventing gate-crashers entering the premises. There are workplaces which require their personnel to display identity cards so that unclassified staff can't wander around in classified areas. The airline frequent flier programs issue cards and of course, the originator of the card, the political parties, issue cards. Who wasn't a card carrying member?

No doubt there are electronic funds working on a multi-card, one card which will serve all purposes, from the mundane identity card to the sophisticated cash card. It will fulfill all one's needs, fit comfortably into a wallet and be immune to giving and receiving "the bends".

Tags & Keywords : Credit cards, plastic money